I will be celebrating my six year wedding anniversary tomorrow. It's crazy to say that six years ago I married my best friend and father of my little one. But he is so much more. He is the love of my life... we have been together for eight years this coming November; he is my best friend; he is the one who keeps my secrets and is my confidant; he is the one I bounce ideas off of; he is the one who I could never imagine my life without; he is the one that I will be spending the rest of my life with.
Within the past six years of marriage, we have definitely had our ups and downs. Everyone always says that the first year is the "honeymoon period" and then all the fun starts in year two... Yeah, well, we got married, and within 3.5 months, we found out that we were expecting our lil man. That was definitely a whirl wind, right there. We were still adjusting to being a married couple, and learning to work together, and we were adding a tiny human into the mix. It was insane.
But it all worked out... and in the past six years, we have never thrown around the idea of divorce or marriage counseling for five main reasons. Those reasons are why I am here today. To let you in on some advice... the five KEY things to a good marriage (in my opinion). I am using good because I don't believe in a GREAT marriage. I believe that everyone has their own issues and they know the secrets to working through those issues.
1. Communication is definitely key.
No matter how much people tell couples that communication is key, no one actually believes them. But it's true. It's the one thing that we have gone without and almost failed, and it's the one thing that brought us back to "our happy place". We talk about everything... what to have for dinner, who is going to pay what bill, how much money we have till pay day... everything. We have even had a conversation about poop. Yeah...
2. Compromise is better than fighting.
No marriage is without disagreement. But when disagreement turns to a drawn out fight where you are both going to bed mad, then someone needs to be the bigger person and suggest the idea of a compromise. Why? Because a marriage includes two people that have decided to tie their lives to one another and if backing down and compromise are not in your vocabulary, then you have no business being married. You both need to learn to work together and come up with a solution. It saves time and feelings.
3. Honesty & Trust are things that roots are made of.
So you don't like how he looks to go out to dinner with your parents, well tell him.Went on a shopping spree, and feel the need to hide the bags? Don't, because he will eventually find out. It's better to be honest in the first place, because lies will hurt a marriage. And sometimes, they can hurt a marriage beyond repair. Meaning that if you can't trust the person you are with, then what is the point of even being married?
4. Always be each others support systems.
In the past six years, there has been job changes, new vehicles, knee and back surgeries, and some other life changing events; but through it all, we have both had each other's backs. When I wanted to quit my job, and become a stay at home mom, we talked it over, ran the numbers, and made the decisions together. When my husband needed back surgery that took seven hours, I was right there for him, and we made the decision date together. If he or I have a bad day at work, we vent to each other and know that there will be no judgement.
5. Indulge in the little moments.
Life is hectic and marriage is hard. Especially when there are two people who work opposite shifts and there are children and children's activities involved. It is easy to just feel like roommates or even two ships passing in the night. But the secret to pushing those feelings away and staying in love? Take a moment to remind yourselves that there is a reason that you married each other. Whether it be after the kids go to bed and you can watch a movie while enjoying a glass of wine, or sneaking a kiss when no one is watching, or using a baby sitter for a trip to Walmart, or even getting up earlier to spend a precious five minutes cuddling on the porch. It's the little moments that will keep a marriage alive.
What is something that is key to your marriage?