confessions & wishes

dainty crystal necklace & blue sapphire birthstone necklace // both from my shop 
I really hate being pulled in two different directions...

On one hand, I really wanted to stay at the hospital with my husband post surgery to provide him with moral support and a friendly face, but one the other hand, my child's pleas to come home and be with me, because he was sick, won me over.

I guess it's part of being a parent, really. Your heart tells you to stay with and support your spouse in their time of need, but in this particular situation, your head tells you that he will be fine and is in good hands with competent medical professionals that hopefully give off a nice disposition.  Your heart and head are at total odds with each other and you wonder if leaving the hospital was even the right choice.

Then you arrive home and a hug makes you realize that the decision was in fact the right one. But you long to be back at the hospital. Especially when your child asks to go pick up his daddy like every two seconds. 

Why as a mother, do I even have to make the choice between them? I mean I totally understand the different scenarios in which choosing your child is the better option, but this one is not even close. It's simple really. And I'm just being stupid. Take care of your child, especially when he's sick and has to go to the doctor,  and believe that your spouse is in capable hands. A simple decisional choice. A good one at best.  But one that weighs on your heart.

It's not like your child wasn't in capable and loving hands when you sat at the hospital during your spouse's surgery, alone and freaking out because of your anxiety. Your child was with his grandparents and you know they would never hurt him. But you still long to be with him, and give into his pleas to go pick him up. 

Ugh! I really hate the whole situation. 

Yes, I made the decision to come home and spend the much needed time with my son, but every time I call the hubby and he tells me that something else is wrong, I want to jump in the car and race as fast as I can into the heart of Chicago, and be there with him. BUT I can't. After a trip to the doctor, my son now has a virus, and I was told by the doctor, to keep him away from his dad. Makes sense. No one wants to have a healing spine AND a virus that causes nasal congestion, coughing, and all around feeling like crap. But with all that, the wanting is still there. 

Even though I am confessing my lil heart out, I still wish for this whole situation to be over. For the hubby to be home and right where I can see him. For Lil Man to feel better, For Lil Man to stop asking for his dad- I know he's a kid, so I can't really get mad. For life to be just a bit easier. For a lower anxiety level. For us to be a family again. 

linking up with Anne & Liz.

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  1. Ohhh....I'm so sorry! Being torn in two is never fun. Welcome to Motherhood right? I'm sure your husband understands and would agree with your choice. Kids on the other hand do not get it and need the extra love and attention, especially when things are out of the norm inter lives. I would have done the same thing you did.

  2. It's hard being a Mom, but we do what we have to do! I probably would have gone to my child as well.

    Those necklaces are lovely!

  3. Ugh, what a tough dilemma! But you would have felt bad the other way around too. I guess if it were me, I would take comfort in the fact that your husband totally understands why you are home with your son. Your son might not have understood... if that makes sense. It will all be over soon!

  4. Gosh, you are between a rock and a hard place! I was just telling my husband last night- being a grown up is awesome, but comes with a lot of decision making. I'm praying your situation improves quickly and you don't have to choose between your two loves anymore!

  5. thoughts and prayers for you my friend! It's such a hard situation. :( I'm praying for a speedy recovery for both your son and your husband so you can all be together soon.

  6. I can only imagine how difficult that choice was for you, especially since you are needed in both situations. But, I am sure that your husband understands and when kids are sick all they want is their momma. I hope that both your son and your husband feel better soon!


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