beauty + lifestyle + parenting

sunday currently 10.26.14

The feeling of numbness hasn't subsided yet, and honestly I really don't think it ever will. Well, at least until I break down and become the hot mess of grief that is boiling below the surface, some time this week... 

In all honestly, I really thought that Saturday was going to be that day, and I was going to go through the same thing that I did when we laid my grandpa into his eternal rest eight years ago- I refused to go to the casket and see him. I was a crying mess, and everyone was telling me that I needed to go say goodbye. I had seen him the night before, and that had been enough for me- so no matter how much pleading they did, I refused to go. 


Since Saturday was a no-go, I think it's going to happen when Lil Man and I visit my mom's house this coming week. And like everyday for the two weeks proceeding last Wednesday, she was there- but won't be now. I know that may sound confusing, but hopefully you get it.

For those of you who have no idea what the hell I am talking about- I lost my grandmother on Wednesday night. I blogged about it

So in light of my mental unstableness over the past couple of days, I think I am just going to share a currently post...  because I love blogging and truthfully, I'm kinda forcing myself to write this post. I know you guys would be ok with me randomly taking a couple of days off, but I think writing is my therapy. Plus writing at night is best, because Lil Man is asleep.

I would also like to take a moment and thank everyone for their beautiful comments and outpouring of support. You guys have no idea how much it really means to me. I know now why I joined this bogging community.



Anyways... 

R e a d i n gAlmost every damn post by Don't Quote The Ravenshe is just too damn funny and I love her. Btw, her words have been the only thing to make me smile the past few days.

W r i t i n g | This blog post (duh) and some random posts for the week.

L i s t e n i n g | To the shows cluttering up my DVR from the week... The Originals, Scandal, Grim, How to get away with murder...

T h i n k i n g | About Halloween costumes for me and Lil Man. I really want to dress up this year- I just don't know as what.

W i s h i n g | That Lil Man's grieving process is over... meaning that he will be ok and not break down in the very near future.

H o p i n g | To get a phone call on Monday informing us that insurance has approved the hubby's surgery and they are ready to schedule.

S m e l l i n g | The leftover Bath and Body Works Pumpkin Latte & Marshmallow lotion I put on earlier... ps- absolutely love the smell!

W e a r i n g | New fuzzy socks from Target

L o v i n g | The new crochet blanket that I picked up from my mom's today... My grandmother made it. Pictures to come soon.

W a n t i n g | The Ben & Jerry's ice cream that is currently in my freezer.

N e e d i n g | A hug.

F e e l i n g | Numb... we have already addressed this.

M i s s i n g | My grandmother....

She is going to be cremated, so that's why there isn't a gigantic hold near where I'm sitting... after the funeral we took a bunch of flowers to the gravesite- my grandpa is right next to me.

 photo alis-hand-signature_zpse86ed880.png
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1 comment

  1. Sending prayers to you. I lost my grandma 2 yrs ago this August and it doesn't get any easier.

    ReplyDelete

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