breathe, just breathe. ok, let's do this. 3... 2... 1... go!
i love you wednesday.... you are the one day that people in the bloggy world find it socially acceptable to dig down deep and confess their lil hearts out, so basically you are amazing :) and since according to kathy and all of her linker-uppers, it is the best idea for a post, i guess i should finally dig down deep and explain what that the hell is going on. i mean, i have been hinting at the huge cluster-fuck of a mind that i have been having, and the possible need of therapy; but it's not something that i've wanted to talk about until now. and i apologize in advance if this post doesn't flow and is all over the place.
you see, life has been crazy lately; but not in the crazy that you would think. i don't have a job yet- granted i have been looking, but you kinda need to send your shit too; it's part of a daunting process that all college grads hate. i am talking crazy in the sense that i can't fucking remember shit. apparently i just have way too much going on in my brain, and unless i write shit down, it ain't getting remembered. just call me post-it note queen. and it's really getting on my nerves. i mean, do you know how much money that i have paid out in credit card late fees over the past four-ish months. way too much!
then there is the issue with the hubby's upcoming back surgery. guess what... after going to a back doctor for almost six months and being on restriction at work for the majority of that time, the doctor now doesn't want to do surgery. wtf! basically the hubby went in to his appointment, told the doc he wanted to schedule surgery, and the doc told him to seek a second opinion. you were his second opinion! are you kidding me?! so basically we are seeking the help of pain management, and starting the process over. i mean, my husband could die on his way to work- his driving leg has been going numb due to a pinched nerve or two in his middle back- and his second opinion back doctor just jacked us around for six months. i could just scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am also freaking out about my gall bladder surgery next week, but that's so minimal compared to everything else. i know i will be ok- it's just my anxiety rearing it's ugly lil head. and i really hate the fact that i have to take a week off work for it. you see, i work part time, and i only work three days a week due to free babysitting from my parents and hubby- so my paycheck for surgery will have one week on it. good thing my hubby works. and speaking of my job- yes, i love my job, and i couldn't be happier with my co-workers or what i'm actually doing- but i'm starting to get super irritated with the lack of work hours. i do supervised visitation, and basically if a visit cancels, then i don't work. this has been happening a lot, and i'm super tired of it.
i know i've only scratched the surface, and trust me, there's more; but i can't think anymore, and i'm going to leave it at that.