a simple decision?

Sometimes I just want to scream...
I knew taking on a second job, even if it was just for like three weeks, was going to be hard, but I don't think I realized just how hard. I hate the fact that I am going to basically be and have been putting my son and family on the backburner until April 1, for one minor reason- I didn't want to screw over the job that has treated me very well for the past 23 months. Yeah, almost two years. Two wonderful, blissful years. And in those two years, I had only ever considered quitting once or twice.
And now... it's on my mind, every minute, of every day. It's a simple reason why I actually want to say peace out. For my sanity. For my son. For the plain reason that I don't want to work six days a week. But there are so many reasons why I choose to stay. For the money. For the friendship. For the good I feel I am doing. For my seniority. Because it's easy. It's easy to feel like I am making a difference at my new job.
Don't get me wrong, I am grateful. Grateful that the job has given and taught me so much. Grateful for the understanding and compassion I have been shown by my superiors on a daily basis. Grateful for the lives I have changed. Grateful for the lasting friendships I have made. Grateful for the fact that for the past two years, I was able to stay home with my son and only work on the weekends for some extra money. Grateful for the smiles and love that made leaving my son tolerable.
Now, I am embarking on a new journey. An exciting and meaningful journey. A journey that I can comprehend the players of the game, and why they do what they do. But this journey also has a decision. A simple decision that could mean that I close a door, but open a window. A decision that would mean less money for me in the long run. A decision to fully leave a job I have loved.

But until I make my ultimate decision, I am going to just be happy for what little time I am able to give to my son, and grateful for my husband and parents, who support me in every choice I decide to make. And continue to keep my bridge open.

**Linking up with Ember Grey. 
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  1. Sounds like you are near the end of it. Hang in a little longer! It'll be worth it to part with the other position on good terms.

  2. Good luck. You will make the decision that is best for your family.

  3. Starting something new is always an adjustment - but soon it will become your normal. Stick with it - I'm sure you are doing a fantastic job!!

  4. Ashley Ponder RichardsMarch 31, 2015 at 7:25 PM

    You just have to remind yourself that this isn't forever. Any time we start something new things can get jumbled in our heads and we get unsure. It's wonderful that you have had an amazing experience during those 23 months. I'm sure great things will happen at this workplace also.

  5. Thank you, and I am! I can't wait to start spending some time at home on the weekends!

  6. The adjustment periods have a tendency to outright suck, but hey, that's why it's an adjustment period, right? :) We are starting to settle into a routine, and it's nice. Thank you hun :)

  7. I'm starting to get used to the whole working all day and then coming home to a smiling face and cuddles. It's nice. And it was nice to see the lil face all excited when I told him that Mommy is off tomorrow (Friday) and get's to spend the day with him. Makes the 19 straight days worth it. :)


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